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About Varied / Professional Core Member Ashe C. E.Other/Canada Group :iconwe-are-cosplay: We-Are-Cosplay
 
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Deviant for 7 Years
6 Month Core Membership
Statistics 547 Deviations 1,659 Comments 19,377 Pageviews

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Cosplay photos to come:

(All of these have been sewn but need sewing or wig improvements.)
Colortrio Paper Crane - Divider by anineko
1.Lacus Clyne – Gundam Seed
2.Maria – Silent Hill
3.Mireille – Noir
4.Magnet Luca – Vocaloid
5.Hiro – Big Hero 6 (With Lily)
6.Secret Disney Cosplay
7.Peter Pan
8.Elsa – Frozen
9.Serah Farron – FFXIII
10.Serah Summoner Garb – FFXIII-2
11.Summoner Yuna - FFX
12.Gunner Yuna – FFX-2
13.Thief Rikku – FFX-2
14.Music Festival Venus Mcflytrap – Monster High
15.Daenerys – Game Of Thrones
16.Aerith –FFVII
17.Exo-Chika – Aural Vampire
18.Misa Amane – Death Nothe
19.Elie – Rave Master
20.Fem Gray – Fairy Tail
21.Lara Croft – Tomb Raider
22. Fem Tin Tin - Tin Tin
23. Fem Laxus - Fairy Tail
24. Fem Alto - Macross Frontier
25. Sheryl Nome - Macross Frontier
26. Nana Osaki - NANA
Colortrio Paper Crane - Divider by anineko

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Are you excited to see Lily and Sir Aurons (my cats) cosplays? (They will be made according to each cat's comforts.) (^・ω・^ ) 

100%
1 deviant said Yes it will be so cute!
0%
No deviants said This seems strange...:s
0%
No deviants said Meow! ♡ॢ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

A Call For Help

Journal Entry: Thu Feb 11, 2016, 3:49 AM


This week has been rough on me. I finally got in my head that I’m in a very abusive place and need to stop making excuse as to why the behaviour of people is okay. I’m not safe and need to get out. Luckily I have the help of a counselor who is helping me to connect with a society that helps abuse victims and such. I’ve also found some links on my own that can help me survive like the food bank and possibly a place to rent.

The other night I broke down crying pretty bad though. I didn’t realized how blind I was to my family’s abuse since the physical part of it disappeared when I moved out on my own the first time. I have only ever known this life style from friends and family so I honestly couldn’t recognize it until I was reading something on emotional abuse and the signs of it…I experience every form of it on a daily basis. Also my mom says she will get help one day then says she doesn’t need to the next and she’s been doing this for about ten years…probably more with other family members and I have to accept that she does not see anything wrong with herself and that she won’t get help. She is extremely sick.

Unfortunately I just finished unpacking and will be packing again as soon as I can. I have to somehow “sneak move” out of my place though to avoid a fight. When the time comes, I will make sure to phone the police department ahead of time because my mom could possibly phone them and claim me insane, not so much for leaving but because when I do leave, no one will have my address other than things like doctors and a very small group of friends if they ask. I would like to keep in contact with my mom but I will only meet her at her and my step dad’s place or out and about.  This will making moving really hard since I can’t have her help me do trips. I need to eliminate any form of control she can have over me and to stop her from bringing the issues my step dad has over to my space as well.

I’m pretty upset too about my cat Sir Auron. Recently he has been diagnosed with kidney failure and while I would love to take him to my new place with me, I can’t afford to. He’s not officially my cat but he doesn’t really like my mom or step dad either. Sir Auron puts up with them as much as myself and Lily. My parents can afford his special diet for his kidney’s though so I think it’s better this way. Also I will miss the grandbabies, which are the kittens of one of our other cats. They follow me around like I’m their grandma but I had to think to myself too… “am I safe here?” The answer is, no. The animals will be though; at least I hope. My parents can afford the bills for them at least. I worry about my step dad hurting them sometimes but usually he just lets them do their own thing, same with my mom. So I think the animals will be pretty safe.

The one thing I`m still holding hope out for is that I can get disability. Right now I can`t even cover rent completely for any place (I pay super cheap rent at my parents) or it would be a place but I`d have no heat or water or food. If I get on disability I can get transport help and afford at least rent with heat and water. As for my food and meds, I`m looking into the food bank already and I`m hoping my husband can support the difference while I'm still on supports.

You can have outside support on social assistance sometimes but not always. I`m hoping it`s okay since I`m not married on paper and because my husband lives in another country. That was a really big thing of him to offer and completely awesome of him for doing that. Even he just wants me out of this place. I love him so much for trying to help me out a much as he can, not just that way but he stays up with me till four in the morning his time quite often just too make sure I don`t go to bed worried or sad.  This is on days when he has to get up in the morning for work too. He is probably the only person that can understand what I go through on a daily basis besides maybe my one aunt. Everyone else thinks my mom is a nice person because she creates this persona around strangers. It makes me really sick when my friends even say “You’re mom is awesome!” Cause she drives me places or buys me things. She has helped me out with somethings but even that was done is a pretty nasty way.

Like damn, when I watched that new-ish Cinderella movie…my mom makes that step mother look nice. Things will be okay though. Phoning around to places is hard at home but I’m managing. I phoned to the abuse center at the counseling place and that was the first time in a really really long time that I wasn’t on edge using the phone. I can’t use the phone at home without being attacked in some way. To see places up for rent will be hard so I was suggested a case worker. I think that’s a really good option though I’m still trying to figure out how to go about it.

I pretty much have no control over my life unless I move out. That’s part of why I like conventions, it’s the one place I don’t have to worry about home. I know my mom won’t go there. Even to ask her to take me to the cheap one close by was a struggle but I thought it was worth the small fight for the few days of relaxation I get. She’s been fighting me while I work on costumes, when I asked her to take me five minutes down the road, and she’ll probably fight me when she drops me off at the convention and after…she always does.

I really don’t have much say in what I do, where I go, how I feel or what I think. I always have to accommodate to her mood and ideas. I’ve been doing that a really long time and when I didn’t as a kid, she would physically beat me up. I’ve threatened her many times, once I became an adult, that if she touches me, I will charge her and I think that’s why she physically holds back. I think that may be getting to her more this last year.

Either way I need out and I will get out. I don’t deserve this from any strangers, friends or family. It’s not acceptable. Just because people treat me like shit doesn’t mean I’m going to treat myself like shit.  That’s just stupid. That’s something that took me a really long time to learn.

On the plus side; my costume repairs are going good. I messed up on things several times but I managed to make them all work. I fixed them in a short time which was a bad idea because that’s a lot of work hours in one day but it came together in the end. I am extremely beat now though and plan to just sleep, do some photos tomorrow, and enjoy the convention this weekend. Next week is going to be super stressful with appointments and calls.

If anyone has any info on community or government supports please let me know. I need all the help I can get.

I can’t even pack until maybe a week or two before I move out and everything has to be done and ready to go. (I have a houseful of stuff. O_O) I hope I can have moving help but if not then to get movers will be pricey and I’ll be able to only do it once…and I’ll have to use the money I have saved up for my dental surgery. It’s hard because I can’t have family help and I know no one where I currently live.

I can do it.



  • Mood: Relief

deviantID

00ACE00
Ashe C. E.
Artist | Professional | Varied
Canada
Doctor Who Stamp II by RaephenBig Hero 6 Stamp: Tech by TMNT-Raph-fan
♠Ashe C.-K. E.-A.♠

Nick Name: ACE
Married to: Softmeer ~♥

This androgynous/non binary asexual was born in London, England but grew up and resides in Canada. Coming from a mainly European and Asian mix family they enjoy learning new languages and are fluent in French and English. Ashe is a freelance designer, artist and model with a love for cosplay. They have been sewing subculture clothing for twelve years and cosplay costumes for ten. Ashe has sewn over fifty costumes with plans to do more in the near future as well as create their own subculture clothing line. This artist has learned their skills through College but mostly by trial and error always working to the best of their ability. Ashe has a knack for learning anything new whether it’s in or outside their field and is always willing to listen. They are also an advocate for physical and mental health, the environment and over all respect and equality for all.

Emilie Autumn, Gandhi, Koda Kumi, Tyra Banks, Grace Jones, La Carmina, Ellen DeGeneres, Aural Vampire, Matthew Good, and Hiro Mashima are just some of the people that inspire me.

Sakuras ~ Divider by OtomeNishiki
I have:
Mixed personality disorder with prominent cluster C and borderline traits, OCD (extremely bad in the germaphobe way),Severe Depression, Anxiety, Hormone Issues, Chronic Ashtma, Adrenal Fatigue, Fibromyalgia and a Hypothalamus Disorder.

If you don't like it go fuck yourself.
Sakuras ~ Divider by OtomeNishiki

*You can message or comment to me in English, French or Brazilian Portuguese if it is easier for you. (I can only take commission orders in English though.)

[[Commissions are closed till my health improves.]]

Rave Stamp by SolusNoxSerah - Stamp by chillmybonesBeyond Good and Evil Stamp by nakashimarikuYuna: Sending :: Stamp by Saphitri

*BTW how I look in cosplay is not the real me. I have tons of make up, wigs, contacts, and other effects for the photos. It's not natural. XD Just so you know because I think too many people think cosplay and fashion photos are all natural. Don't believe such lies! D:

________

My fashion and fun blog:
ace-kingdom.blogspot.ca/

YouTube:
www.youtube.com/user/777LadyOf…
Interests

My Mission

To be able to sell prints, jewelry, accessories and art while still staying true to myself.

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~Please Read Before Posting On My Page~

-Don't leave a crap tone of links or I will hide your comment.
-Don't tell me to check out your gallery because if I really want to I'll do it on my own terms.
-Also I'm not a fan of most cosplayers/artists as I find most to be very selfish and snobby. I appreciate your work but don't try to cram it down my throat.
-I rarely do collaborations. No matter how good or well known you are; I have to get to know you on a personal level first. I won't support even the most professional of people if they're an asshole of a human being.
-I don't work for free unless it's for a charity I really believe in and have a full knowledge of.

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconrabiesjnke:
rabiesJNKE Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favourite!
Reply
:iconstaleydm01:
staleydm01 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I loved your Melodia cosplay and would love to learn how you put it together.
Reply
:icon00ace00:
00ACE00 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2016  Professional General Artist
Thanks! It's a tube dress I just winged up with hand-painted flowers. I used fabric paint. :) The straps are bias tape. The jewelry I already had or made with random beads and charms.
Reply
:iconstaleydm01:
staleydm01 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That is good, I like to give compliments if I like something and what are your next plans for cosplay.
Reply
:icon00ace00:
00ACE00 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2016  Professional General Artist
Thanks, so do I! You're Ginny cosplay is coming along well. ^.^
For my next cosplays I'll be repairing old costumes but they are costumes that I don't have any photos of so I'll take photos of those. As for brand new ones, I'm working on a Harley Quinn and Female Constantine. How about you?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondark-wings-choco:
Dark-Wings-Choco Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Muito obrigado pelo favorito! =D
Gostei dos seus cosplays :)
Reply
:icon00ace00:
00ACE00 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2016  Professional General Artist
De Nada! :D
Estou feliz ao ouvir que.
Você é muito talentoso.
Espero que eu escrevi isso corretamente. XD
Reply
:icondark-wings-choco:
Dark-Wings-Choco Featured By Owner 9 hours ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Há alguns erros, devo dizer, mas nada que comprometa o sentido :)
Reply
:icon00ace00:
00ACE00 Featured By Owner 44 minutes ago  Professional General Artist
Yay! XD
Reply
:iconirondoors:
Irondoors Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2016
I'm glad you enjoyed my photo ;D
Reply
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